Times are tough for a bro out there... Adam (pictured at right), a cuz' and long time Dirt Rodder, recently applied for a job on craigslist. Think you know how to write a cover letter with your resume- think again...
Here's Adam's email, EXACTLY as he submitted it for employment:
Subject: Driving instructor at your service
Offensive (I mean defensive) driving
instructor available for duty.
My name is Adam, and I am writing in response to the "defensive driver
instructors" ad that is currently running on Craigslist Milwaukee.
Looking for the best? Here I am. Seriously, "hands down" one of the
finest drivers you will ever find is at your service. Are you kidding?
No I am not. Started driving at the age of 10 or 11 (cannot remember
exactly what age). First car driven was a hobby stock race car. First
direction driven, sideways. Thats right, I said sideways. Was in a
hayfield, could not even see out the windscreen. Learned how to
control a spin and how to purposely throw a cars' ass end around in a
controlled manner. Before the age of 15 would "steal" (I like to say
borrowed) Mothers' Pontiac for 100 M.P.H. joy rides. In high school,
the only kid in Drivers Ed that could successively do a "Rockford" on
city streets. First speeding ticket was at the age of 16, one week
into having a license. That first
speeding ticket was for going 80 in
a 55. Lifetime (to date) highest M.P.H clocked on police radar was 130
(that was going around a corner by the way=2
0and in a Super Sport
Chevrolet!). Speeding tickets are not the only traffic citations
accumulated over the years by this "Habitual Traffic Offender".
Operating while intoxicated, reckless driving, disorderly conduct with
a motor vehicle, "racing", "cruising", exhaust excessively loud,
excessive acceleration, failure to stop for a red light, failure to
where a seatbelt (12 times), no rearview mirror, windows excessively
dirty, expired registration, "weaving", "tailgating", failure to pay
toll, wrong license plates for vehicle, operating after revoked,
speeding (at least 30 times), the list goes on. Why are you telling me
this?! Here's why. One word. Experience. Drove race cars for 7
years. Have outrun police on numerous occasions. (Those Fords that
they drive are pathetic, I love a good Chevrolet). Been "involved" in
no less than 10 automobile accidents (none life threatening). Have
also been "involved" with no less than 100 street races (going 145
M.P.H. smokin a Cobra through town was a great race). Great skills at
expressway merging, "muscling" into tight lanes of traffic, evasive
maneuvering, "scanning" the road ahead, "predicting" potential
accidents, "reacting" to real instances. Also great at high speed
driving, launching a "manual shift" car or truck, launching an
"automatic" car or truck, power sh
ifting, double clutching, "drifting",
the this goes on.
Available most anytime weekdays for a real life demonstration. We can
use your bosses car! (kidding)
Great experience with "classroom" instruction. Computer literate.
Excellent written/verbal/ presentation skills. Amazing coach/leader
attitude. Will work with ALL students until they pass. Nobody fails
when I teach them something. Also, have passed two driving safety
courses in the past (court ordered).
If you think I am joking, you're wrong. I am a small business owner
looking for extra income. Real life experience is the key to success
at anything. Please do not hire somebody else for this position until
you have at least been in contact with me first. You wont find anyone
who can drive like me. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Adam
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